Alright guys, listen carefully. Have you ever wondered exactly what it is that you could do to keep chicks happy? This is specifically referring to girlfriends/ potential girlfriends here. Well, though it varies from woman to woman, there are a few things that are generally appreciated, and though I'm probably breaking some major feminine codes of silence (which is likely to get me assassinated by an angry mob of feminists who want to make courtship so much more confusing, but hey...), I'm going to share a few pointers which may start or save your relationships;

HONESTY-
Wow, you never would have guessed that honesty would be a big thing in a relationship!
"Dark and Mysterious" will only get you so far before it starts to shit people off, so unless you're looking for a nice little one night stand or holiday fling (meaning emotions or further contact are unnecessary), I strongly suggest you drop the act and stop being so precious about "your business" and start being yourself. Girls like a guy they can relate to, so as long as you're still wearing the dark glasses and trench coat, she's not going to feel like she even knows who you are, let alone if she can relate to you...

EMOTION-
I know its hard guys, but if you have any emotions buried somewhere beneath the coal, dig them up and show them off. Believe it or not, we actually do want to know what you think and feel (yes, I said the word "feel"- it may be scary, but the word won't damage your manly pride as much as you think it will). If you find us attractive, like us, or -Gods forbid- LOVE us.... LET US KNOW! If you still Miss Chirpy your childhood pet, if some dude at work pissed you off, if you're lonely and need some company- would it be so hard to open up? It won't make you any less of a man to show your emotional side to your significant other, and it's not as though your friends are listening around the corner to tell you what a pussy you are. Let the paranoia go and you might even find you like it.

AFFECTION-
We want it. We need it. Gods know we like it. There's nothing worse than an affection-starved relationship; it can make a girl feel unwanted, unloved and unworthy... which is not generally a good thing. The big point here would be that we need to be touched- not in a sick perverted way, but just as a sign of genuine affection (or do we really repulse you that much?). It does change from woman to woman what kind of affection is wanted (in public or in private), but the occasional hand holding, hugs, kisses, etc. (whispered sweet nothings and massages are optional, but I doubt you'd get slapped for it) are basic things that will generally score you points and maybe even rewards ;).
Another thing to keep in mind is that there are occasions where PDA is acceptable and even encouraged in some situations. If your friends get offended, we can understand that, but if you're in a romantic place where no-one else knows you, then what's the problem? Don't try so hard to please strangers that you risk seriously offending your girlfriend- it'll be a great blow to her self-esteem and no doubt it'll cause a lot of issues. Trust me on this one.

ATTENTION-
There's something that needs to be set straight here; we go out with you so we can spend time with -you-. All we really expect in return is for you to show the same courtesy. Funnily enough, that means that when we take the time and effort to go somewhere with you, we don't expect you to blow us off for three hours in favour of a one-player computer game that consists of;
"*BANG* *BANG* OH MAN, I SAVED THE WORLD FROM ALIENS AGAIN!"
Big. Fucking. Whoop.
It's not like you could've done that any other time or anything- like, you know, when someone ISN'T taking time out of their day to be with you? Don't ignore us for a mate you see every other day, a car you just -have- to look under the hood of, or a game you already have at your disposal- the best it will get you is a slap in the face if you keep that shit up long enough.
We want you to take an interest in our lives if you're really that interested in us. This means finding out about us, meeting our friends and *shock horror* our families (i know it's scary, but if you want to show a woman you care, you don't need to give them an expensive blow-me-bracelet, just get in her good books by accepting the people she loves).

THOUGHT-
They say it's the thought that counts. This does actually mean that you have to -think- once in a while if you want to make your girl feel special. Every woman is different, with different tastes and different likes; so special gifts and dates really do rely on how much thought is put into them since pink carnations and a box of Roses Variety may be more likely to offend than flatter if your girlfriend isn't that cliché. Find out her idea of romance by talking to her or her friends, and keep it in mind. She'll be pleased- and later, you will be too...

SPONTANEITY-
Want to gain extra points with her? Try sweeping her off her feet (literally if you like). Do something crazy, romantic and unexpected- the weirder the better. This may count under the subheading of Thought, but it deserves its own explanation since so few men ever even attempt to do this, and even fewer men actually understand that women do love a good surprise (as opposed to a bad surprise like, "Sorry I couldn't take you out tonight honey, but I got this chick pregnant you see, and..." etc.).

INITIATIVE-
Even after the bra-burnings of the feminist movement, women still managed to salvage some traditional romantic ideals. Yes, it's shocking, yes, it's true. Some of us still enjoy the idealistic thought of chivalry. A man who can look after a woman physically and emotionally and actually take the first steps. Most of us still want a guy to take initiative and ask the girl out, make the first move and all of the things guys believe they don't have to worry about any more since women decided to lead their own lives. Sure, don't assume we can't do anything for ourselves, don't take chivalry to the point of being condescending; but for Gods' sakes! DON'T BE FUCKING LAZY! Typically, guys are ruled by their dicks, so the only way we even get a slight indication that a guy cares is if they actually get off their arses and make the effort for us.
...And if you start complaining that you can't ask this chick out because you don't know what she'll say, then stop whinging, get over it and find out the hard way! At least then you'll know.
Anyway, back to the point- if you want to kiss her, then kiss her. If you do something she doesn't like, she'll tell you -at length- so you don't need to worry about going too far. Don't be shy boys, we don't bite... hard...

That's all I have for now, but I'll no doubt have more pearls of wisdom later. Heed it well guys, and goodnight!

-Kat

I just wish guys could act like this, although even if they did I doubt that I’ve have one. But then again guys probably have something along the lines of a list for the perfect female, ohhh I’d hate to see it.

L

Written on 04 December 2005 at 01:56 pm